You see, the truth is that we can get lost in this hectic masterclass of life. Sometimes it’s early on in adolescence when we are trying to figure out who we are in this world with all the societal programming and pressures telling us who we should be. Sometimes it’s through difficult relationships, parenting, “keeping up with the Jones”, emotional and physical abuse, and let’s face it, we all have experienced some form of trauma.

I know, most people will hear “trauma” and think of the big T’s, like abuse, tragic events, global disaster etc. but what many of us don’t realize is that we all carry the little Ts with us unconsciously.

When we are under 7 years of age our brains are not able to rationalize our experiences. For instance, when I was 6, one day I was playing with my neighbour. I wanted to stop playing and go inside and he didn’t want me to. He was blocking me from getting up the stairs to my back entrance. I told him that if he didn’t let me pass that I would bite him. He didn’t let me go and yes, I bit him. I went inside and soon my mom found out what had happened. I was asked to go apologize and when I refused, I was asked to sit on the back porch until I did. Now this may not have been exactly what happened but that doesn’t matter because in my mind it did, and it was a traumatic event to me.

In that moment I decided that my feelings didn’t matter, that I wasn’t heard and understood, and I was not worthy of having my needs met.